David Murrow’s book Why Men Hate Going to Church is not only provocatively titled, it is provocatively written.
Murrow breaks the book into three sections that define the problem for men, the problem for the church, and the way the church can bring men back. I’ll talk briefly about each section.
Part 1: Where Are The Men?
This is probably the best section in the book. In 50 pages, Murrow repeatedly proves why men are leaving the church. He boils it down to a few things: The feels feminine, makes men feel unneeded, and treats Jesus as a boyfriend instead of a leader.
While it feels aggressive and overstated, Murrow makes a fantastic case for himself.
Part 2: Church Culture vs. Man Culture
In part 2, Murrow dives into church history, theology, and gender distinctions. He specifically focuses on how the church became feminized, why it stays that way, and how men feel about it.
The main points of this section are: Churches advertise to women because it is profitable, they don’t have male-gifted service opportunities, and they use feminine language in the pulpit.
Again, it is difficult to disagree with him. He proves his case really well. As someone who has been in the church his whole life, I have seen these things time and time again.
Part 3: Calling the Church Back to Men
Part 3 is the most controversial. Murrow gives practical ways churches can change to bring men into the church.
He calls churches to change the language from family/intimacy language to kingdom/king language. He suggests repainting the walls darker, man friendly, tones. And he suggests taking the emphasis off female gifts and putting it on ways men can serve.
After reading this book and digesting it awhile I’ve come to the conclusions that I highly recommend it.
Why Men Hate Going to Church challenges churches to get men in the door and keep them there. Murrow asks church leaders to swallow their pride and change the way they’ve been doing things.
It is a hard pill to swallow and it means churches need to change their focus, preach more aggressively, and change the way it has been done their whole life. But it works.
If you are a church leader, a member of a church, or a person who wants to see men in the church then pick up Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow.
If nothing else, it will force you to think differently.